WHAT Is Going on America? Small Ways We Can All Work to Prevent Violence

I am sick of hearing about mass shootings. I am sick of hearing about black and brown folks being brutalized and killed. I am sick of the media response. I am sick that most of us, do not accept any responsibility in ensuring the happiness and security of not only our family and our friends, but also our community and humanity at large.

When someone commits an act of violence there is often the question of “Why?” We search for answers to how someone moved to abuse or kill others. Speculation mounts that this person was neglected, abused, marginalized, lacked training, or suffered from a mental disorder. To be honest, the public may never be privy to understanding why a specific individual committed an act of violence.

I believe as human beings that we are all capable of doing horrific and heroic things. I believe each of us has within us the capacity for the greatest good and the most heinous evil. The difference is only in the circumstances and the unique creation of self. It is not what happens to us that matters, it is what we do with what happens to us.

We all have individual styles of living (personalities) influenced by our multigenerational family history, in utereo experience, genetics, neurophysiology, early life attachment experiences, toxic exposure, exposure to traumatic events, and systemic and cultural influences, etc. I envision personality formation as we take all these factors plus more; whip them up together, and boom-bam this is me! We design our concept of self, others, and the world around us and this dictates how we move through life; expressed through our actions, thoughts, and emotions.

As human beings, we are social beings and rely on the group for survival. Through our interpersonal relationships, our psychological needs of security, significance, and belonging are met. If these needs are not met, we try all kinds of creative (crazy) things to get them met, some of them adaptive and socially interested, and others not so much. 

The lifestyle and movement of an actor of violence is interesting, no doubt. The reasons why a perpetrator orchestrated a mass act of violence or brutality will be unique to him or her. I believe these are individuals lacking a strong sense of significance, security, or belonging. People hurt other people in an effort to get needs met.

How can you be part of the prevention of future acts of violence, racism, and suffering? We are all responsible for what happens in our families and communities. We need to live in a way that honors the humanity in all people.

When you walk down the street, say hi to the people you pass. If you notice a kid alone on the playground, invite them to play with you and your kids. Educate yourself on your biases and systemic racism. If you see someone in public treating a child or adult in a way that you think is wrong, find a tactful, safe way to intervene and diffuse the situation. Smile at people. Hold doors for people. When you ask people how they are truly listen to the response. Take the time to send the message to people, especially the little people that you encounter, that I notice you, you matter just because you are you, and you are part of humanity.

If you are looking for support as you work through life’s challenges Coriander Living Collective is here. Please reach out.