Fostering Self-Understanding in Children

According to The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD it is important to integrate the “upstairs” higher level thinking and “downstairs” emotional and primal parts of the brain. During childhood, the upstairs parts of the brain are rapidly developing, and then during adolescence a massive remodel takes place.  Since brains are neuroplastic, the more you exercise certain parts, the stronger they become, it’s the “use it or lose it” principle.

Self-understanding uses higher level parts of the brain to interpret emotions and sensations that come from the lower parts of the brain. According to Siegel and Payne Bryson one of the best ways to foster self-understanding in children is to “ask questions that help them look beyond the surface of what they understand…”

How this looks: Dig deeper! Don’t accept an “I don’t know.” Ask open-ended questions. Have your child talk about, draw, or write about experiences. Engage with them about the situation at hand for at least a few minutes.

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